Every man relies on his partner for sexual pleasure. But what if the couple want different amounts of sex (i.e. penetrative intercourse)?
Over the years I’ve seen a lot of suggestions on the Internet that women’s sex drive is just as high as men’s.
But when I look more closely, into the detail, I get the impression that a lot of reports which say that women enjoy as high a sex drive as men come from women who are in some way trying to restore the balance with men.
It’s almost as though having a high sex drive, and being libidinous for much of the time is a desirable state of affairs! And one in which women want to be equal to men!
Yet when you look at the scientific research, it’s quite clear that men do have a higher sex drive and a greater demand for sex at every stage of a relationship.
Now the interesting twist to this simple fact of human nature is that men want all kinds of sex, but especially penetrative sex, much more often than women do.
I mean, when you think about it, penetration is an intense act, and to enjoy it fully, woman’s really got to be in the mood. From the male point of view, it’s not much fun making love to a woman who doesn’t really want to be in bed with you.
(Although I suspect a lot of women feel it’s easier to submit to requests for sex from their man than to say “no”.)
But in any decent relationship, it’s the woman who controls the frequency of sex, and if she is limiting the amount of penetrative intercourse, then it’s not unreasonable for the couple to look for some kind of alternative for the man to enjoy sexual pleasure and satisfaction without intercourse.
Sure, a lot of people will say “Well let him masturbate or self-pleasure.”
But the reality is that although this can be a very powerful and wonderful experience, it is purely physical and it doesn’t have have the added bonus of any psychological or emotional interaction with a partner.
And that is something which makes foreplay, arousal and orgasm (and of course ejaculation for men) much more fun…. I mean, if the partner’s taking part in the sexual pleasure.
Alternatives to intercourse
But a woman who doesn’t want to enjoy penetrative intercourse when her man’s erect and aroused, and he’s sniffing around for sex like an unfixed cat, what’s the answer?
Well there are plenty of answers, in fact. To start with, almost every man in the world loves what has become colloquially known as a titty-f*ck.
This is the thrusting of the penis, hopefully well lubricated, between a pair of breasts. Now, the pleasure of this does not depend on the a size of a man’s penis.
If his penis is small, for example, he may not feel very much inside his partner’s vagina. But with breasts tightly enclosing his penile shaft and glans, regardless of size, any man is going to enjoy intense satisfaction, not to mention sexual fulfilment and hopefully pleasure from his partner’s skilful sexual stimulation.
Many women seem to enjoy this as well, either because their tits are getting attention they don’t usually get, or simply because it’s arousing and exciting for a woman to see the power she has over her man. The real reason remains a feminine secret!
Certainly a lot of women seem to enjoy watching men ejaculate – after all, it’s a visible sign that a man is enjoying himself, and he’s enjoying himself because he’s there with his woman. Good for the self-esteem, perhaps!
Another good alternative sex technique (if the woman is in the mood for it) is to allow the man to thrust his penis between her buttocks, which will possibly give her pleasure as well if he’s stimulating her anal region as his penis moves over her perineum and butt crack.
And of course there’s always the good old hand job – a reliable and pleasurable way to reach orgasm, whoever is doing the stimulation. (OK, I admit, it’s probably much more pleasurable if somebody else is doing it than if you’re doing it yourself.)
There are plenty of videos on YouTube, and plenty of websites on the Internet, which give detailed explanations of how you can enjoy sexual pleasure in these ways, so I won’t bother repeating the instructions here.
However – one point to make is that last but not least, of course, there is oral pleasuring. A good standby, and it doesn’t need to take a man to orgasm and ejaculation, particularly if the woman doesn’t like the taste of semen.
She can always finish him off with her hand, and the truth is that by the time he’s so aroused that he’s ready to ejaculate, he may not even notice the difference when she does use her hand.
You might be wondering whether or not there is any common factor which underlies these different methods of pleasuring a man.
Well yes, there are.
To be wholly present while your man receives pleasure is important. If you’re doing the pleasuring as a favor, and you really feel that you’d prefer to be somewhere else, it’s not the most confidence boosting or self-esteem affirming sexual experience a man can have!
So if you find that you don’t want to enjoy sexual activities with your partner, it’s best to say so, and to fix a time which you can both look forward to for the mutual satisfaction and pleasure that physical intimacy can provide.