The Art Of Pleasuring Men

One of the most satisfying aspects of a sexual relationship is being able to pleasure your partner in bed.

We all know men are eager for information on how to please a woman. But the truth is that women also eagerly women want ideas about how to please a man in bed.

So with that in mind, let’s look at what a woman can do for a man that will not only give him sexual pleasure and satisfaction, but a real sense of how much he loves her, and how much she loves him.

A great place to start is by looking at what men want from women in the bedroom. As it happens, that’s easy: men want a woman who’s sexually confident, knows that she’s able to please a man in bed, is sexually adventurous, and who’s clear about what she wants in return.

Sounds simple? Not so fast! We need to dig a bit deeper, and find out what those qualities really mean in a sexual relationship.

How A Woman Can Please A Man In Bed

1 To pleasure a man, make sure you initiate sex (at least some of the time!)

When a woman initiates sex, her man assumes it’s because she enjoys sex with him.

A lot of women leave it to their man to initiate, to say when they would like sex. Women who do this risk alienating their man, because the message a man receives from this behavior is: “I don’t care whether we have sex or not, and I’m only doing it to please you.”

2 To please a man, be accepting and open to his sexual requests and ideas.

We all have different sexual desires, and not all of them are going to appeal to both members of a couple. But it’s important that both the man and the woman feel safe and confident enough to talk about their desires and wants.

When a woman is non-judgmental about a man’s sexual desires and wishes, he can open up and be honest about what he would like in bed. So if your partner comes up with a suggestion which strikes you as strange or off the wall, don’t reject it out of hand. Think about whether or not you’d be willing to try it. If it doesn’t hurt anyone, and you’re both consenting, give it a go.

Men respect women who are open to new ideas about what to do in bed, and see them as great companions in the bedroom.

3 Say “No” if you don’t want to do something

Although it’s a good thing to be open to new ideas, to new ways of giving and receiving sexual pleasure, there’s no point trying to please your man in bed by simply agreeing to every request he makes.

You have to maintain your own standards and self-respect, and you have to be sexually honest, if you are to have a relationship of integrity. Of course, you can still choose to indulge your partner by doing something that doesn’t especially excite you. Doing this to give your man pleasure is very different from simply agreeing to go along with everything he asks you to do without thinking about how you feel!

4 Accept a man’s primal passion as part of his masculinity.

Most men who are truly in touch with their sexuality will admit they have a primal male sexual urge which can overcome them from time to time.

Sure, it’s great to be sweet and loving and romantic – that can be very pleasurable for man and woman alike. But inside every man there’s a caveman ready to enjoy lustful sex – and get great sexual satisfaction from doing so. Sometimes that urge may look uncontrollable, especially within a loving relationship where a man feels safe. The fact is, the expression of this lustful, primal sexuality is very pleasurable for a man.

If you’re really comfortable with both your man’s sexuality and your own, you’ll appreciate the deep satisfaction your man gets when he expresses his powerful, raw sexual feelings from time to time. You might even discover that if you join in with him and welcomes this energy, something stirs in you as well!

5 Keep trying something new in bed to please a man.

Think what it would be like to eat the same dinner every night. Sure, it might satisfy your hunger, but would that be a route to gastronomic pleasure and satisfaction?

No. And in a way, the same is true of sex. In a long-term relationship where you’re sleeping with the same person every night, routine brings boredom.

In other words, if you have the same menu of sexual pleasure every time, things can quickly get boring. To give your man continuing pleasure in bed, you need to keep trying out new positions, techniques, and ideas. This will keep things fresh and exciting.

(This is just as true for a woman as it is for a man. If a man’s routine is always the same – brief foreplay, penetration, orgasm, sleep – then he needs a bit of education from his woman on how to please a woman in bed.)

6 Know what what would please you in bed.

Building up quiet resentment about the fact that your man isn’t pleasuring you in the way you want is a waste of time! If you aren’t getting what you want sexually, then tell him how he could satisfy you in bed.

Remember men love to do those things for a woman which are important for her. So if you explain how he could please you sexually, he’s probably going to be more than willing to, er, rise to the challenge.

7 Appreciate his body in general and his penis in particular.

Since you’re not a man, you can’t really understand how insecure some men feel about their penis – how it looks, whether it’s going to get hard, whether it’s big enough, and so on.

And while I’m sure we’re all tired of the endless debates about the ideal penis size or the merits of circumcision, you have to understand how important these subjects are to your man.

A man’s penis is a fundamental part of his male sexual identity. Unlike you, most of sexual pleasure comes from attention focused on his genitals. (Anything tight, warm and wet around his penis is extremely pleasurable for him.)

So if you’re going to truly please a man in bed, appreciating his penis is absolutely essential. You don’t have to lie about this, nor do you have to tell him how enormous it is, or how powerful it is (although you can if you want!).

All you need do is tell him the truth – his penis can give you great pleasure and you enjoy feeling it inside you. Be mature, too. Avoid infantile words like willie or winkle.

While you make love to your man, treat him with respect, and when you pleasure his penis with mouth or hand, or any other part of your body, treat his cock with respect as well.

8 Don’t act sulky, disappointed or critical if he loses his erection.

You’d be surprised how much men fear losing their erection. Truth is, all men know all too well the possibility of losing their erection lurks just around the next corner, and they’re pretty scared about it. If a guy’s penis is the first point of his male identity, then knowing it works reliably and provides him and his partner with sexual pleasure is a close second.

But the reality is that a penis doesn’t always work because the owner may be tired, or drunk, or ill. And a guy may ejaculate too soon because of sexual anxiety. Sometimes a guy can’t ejaculate at all. Even simply growing older can prevent a penis working as it was designed to do.

Whatever goes wrong, the best approach is to remain calm and accepting of the situation. He’ll love you all the more for your calm and quiet reassurance. 

9 To please a man in bed, enjoy giving and receiving oral sex.

You’d be surprised how many women, even today, don’t like giving oral pleasure to a man. This is very sad. The intimacy of oral–genital contact is important in both pleasing your man in bed, and in letting him pleasure you by giving you oral. 

Most men really like the extra level of intimacy associated with oral sex because it shows their woman loves them. It proves she is willing to go the extra mile to give pleasure to her man in the bedroom. 

10 Tell him what would please you.

Truth is, a lot of men are in the dark around pleasuring a woman. They simply don’t know to do, and even when they do, they may not know how to do it well.

As a woman, the best way to educate your man about what you want in bed is to tell him! Do this tactfully and discreetly, without putting him down. Always be positive: “That feels fantastic….. and if you move your hand a little bit to the right and make the stroke lighter, it’ll feel even better!”

11 Make some noise and show some enthusiasm!

If you’ve ever had sex with a man or woman who’s remained more or less silent while you’re making love, you’ll know exactly why some noise is important!

Sure, we totally appreciate that great pleasure doesn’t have to be accompanied by a chorus of grunts, moans, screams and squeals, but total silence can be really unnerving to the person who is pleasuring you!

Noises are a great way for each partner to let the other know how much they’re enjoying what’s happening.

12 To pleasure a man, accept your own body.

Sure, we understand women are under enormous pressure from the media to conform to ridiculous expectations about body shape. You have to resist this pressure! Be happy with what you’ve got!

And even if you can’t resist the occasional wobble about your body, rest assured your man will still find it sexy and exciting!

You see, one of the key elements of knowing how to please a man in bed is simply believing that you’re good enough for him. Another is trusting that your body is going to excite him. A third is remembering that he’s in bed with you because he likes you and he likes your body.

And should you need reassurance about your body, don’t seek it during sex – that’s really going to turn him off and most likely annoy him. You see, if you’re asking for reassurance about your body during sex, the message you give is that you’re more concerned with your own fears and self-doubts than with giving him pleasure in bed – or receiving it.

13 Dress to please.

You don’t have to act like a harlot, but it’s fun for everybody if you put on a few sexy clothes now and again!

If your aim is to please your man, this is one of the simple ways you can do it – and, oddly enough, you might find that it turns you on as well. That’s because dressing up is a kind of permission to be more sexually expressive and adventurous, to break through a few boundaries.

14 Keep secrets secret.

Above all, keep his secrets. The damage it’s going to do if he ever finds out you’ve been talking to your best mate about his premature ejaculation is beyond anything you can imagine.

15 Don’t fake orgasm.

The sooner you stop faking orgasms, the better. You see, if he thinks he’s giving you pleasure every time you pretend have an orgasm, he’s never going to find out how to do it properly.

The longer this goes on, the harder it’s going to be to find a way to admit that you’ve been faking it! And anyway, just as you want to please him, so he wants to please you. Find a discreet way of showing him how he can bring you off. That way he’ll feel good about his sexual ability when he gives you pleasure. Equally, be uninhibited and open as you discover how to please your man in bed and satisfy him sexually.