The Art Of Sexually Satisfying A Man In Bed
It’s certainly true that “on top” is generally where men prefer to be during intercourse (it feels good!) but even so it’s necessary for a man’s pleasure and sexual satisfaction that his woman is able to give him the right kind of sexual stimulation before or during intercourse so he achieves orgasm in the way that feels best for him.
Of course what this stimulation may look like will be different for each man. It may be a particular position, or it may be some special feminine sexual technique…. if in doubt, ask your man what he likes – he’ll be more than happy to tell you!
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And don’t forget, most men want to feel emotionally involved in intercourse (just as a woman does), so make sure that you offer him plenty of loving words and affectionate intimacy. In fact, for some men, emotional intimacy is the most important aspect of making love.
Each woman who desires to be a good lover and pleasure her man in bed needs to know her man’s preferences and pleasures!
Of course sexual pleasure in bed depends as much on emotional pleasure as well as physical pleasure. So if you don’t know what he likes and wants, simply ask him!
Pleasure Is Unlimited
Sex can be ecstatic and passionate or comfortable and cozy, with intense or gentle orgasms, depending on how a couple feel, how aroused they are, how closely connected they feel, and, of course, how passionate they are.
The problem is that many couples do not take a realistic view of their sex life and they therefore expect to achieve great sexual satisfaction, intense pleasure, and massive orgasms – to feel the earth move – on every occasion they have sex.
Accept that this is not realistic and you will probably enjoy sex more!
The pros and cons of each lovemaking position
Man on top
Where the man is dominant in the man on top sex position, he may come fast! So he needs to exercise a degree of conscious control over his movements and his arousal. His urge to thrust is extremely powerful in this sexual position, and this can lead to a fast orgasm. He may therefore need to slow down from time to time or he may need to halt his movements completely.
This way, the duration of sexual intercourse is increased and his partner gets an opportunity to become more sexually aroused; intercourse will then satisfy both partners more.
Of course, the value of a “quickie” for a man is that he can simply take pleasure without having to accommodate his partner’s pleasure! So from time to time a woman who is concerned with her man’s pleasure in bed will give him the chance to satisfy his sexual urges without expecting pleasure in return. (Of course he should return the favor!)
How long sex should generally last is a matter for each individual couple, but the answer is usually something like “it should last for as long as it takes until both man and woman feel sexually and emotionally fulfilled”.
When a woman’s underneath the man during sex she may want to become more involved in the sexual action by wrapping her legs around his back and pulling him in close to her.
The close association of their bodies can actually produce a very pleasurable friction on her clitoris, especially when his pelvic motions are those of the coital alignment technique – a rocking motion. Unfortunately it’s not a position which can be prolonged because his movements are somewhat restricted and she may become tired.
Even so, kissing and fondling can continue and deep genital penetration is possible. The woman can stroke and caress the man’s back, holding him close, running her fingers up and down his back, touching, kissing and enjoying the close contact with his neck and face; moreover, his chest rests on her breasts. Most men feel very fulfilled and sexually satisfied when they reach orgasm in this position.
This is also an extremely helpful position when the man’s penis is short and he can’t penetrate the vagina particularly deeply since it gives some of the deepest penetration possible. It increases the physical sensations and sexual pleasure experienced by both partners.
Deep penetration
Deep penetration is very fulfilling for men – it appeals to the instinctive urge to get deep into a woman. Sensation and pleasure are enhanced when the woman puts her legs up on the man’s shoulders; he can get very deeply inside her, and this is an exciting variation to the man on top sex position.
However, not all women feel comfortable with it because it represents a position of high vulnerability. In addition, the sexual action is almost all with the man, and although the sense of being taken and even helplessness can be exciting for the woman, she may not be too happy spending a long time in this sexual position. But again, this can provide men with great pleasure. The tightness of the woman’s legs produces more intense pleasure because of the pressure on the man’s penis.
Today there are few women who would be sexually satisfied with a sexual encounter that consisted of nothing more than swift male penetration, swift ejaculation and disconnection.
Nonetheless, while more men are more aware of how it necessary it is to satisfy a woman sexually (i.e. give her an orgasm), it’s also true that anxiety about sexual performance can leave men over-controlled, perhaps even disconnected from their sexual and ejaculatory urges.
Certainly for men with difficulty ejaculating, men who cannot ejaculate easily during intercourse, the prolonged thrusting they feel obliged to use to reach climax may become both mechanical and disconnected from the emotional intimacy of sex.
But increased awareness and a change in sexual attitudes have produced various changes in male sexual behavior. It was only 40 or 50 years ago that Alfred Kinsey regarded ejaculation with two minutes of intercourse commencing as so common as to be normal.
Although, in my opinion, the ejaculatory performance of most men has not changed since then, what has changed is that men are aware of the need to satisfy a woman by taking her to orgasm during intercourse.
The question of how a man can give his partner most sexual pleasure is highly individual, and men should not be embarrassed about asking their partner in a relaxed way what she would like in return for the pleasure she is offering him…..
What’s even more important is that both the man and the woman continue to explore their sexual potential, relaxing into an intimate connection with each other so that they can achieve more spontaneous pleasure and remain focused on the experience they are enjoying together.
So, for example, when the man on top of the woman it’s necessary for him to ensure that she can adjust her movements so that she not only increases the pleasure of the sensations in her vagina, but also that her clitoris receives adequate stimulation.
One way of doing this is to orient their bodies so that their is continued contact between his pubic bone and her clitoris; alternatively, he can use his fingers if her vulva is accessible.
An alternative sexual position which allows the couple to get increased mutual sexual pleasure is for the woman to place her legs between the man’s, and for him to squeeze her thighs with his – although the woman has very little movement in this sex position, she will find the extra pressure on her vulva very arousing, and his penis is tightly fitted into her vagina. She can wiggle a little, and she can contract her PC muscles to provide great pleasure and intense sensation.
For some women, putting her legs out flat and widespread will position her clitoris to receive stimulation as the man thrusts into her in the man on top position.
An alternative is for him to provide a teasing side to side motion which will rub and stimulate the whole of the woman’s vulva.
Mixing It Up – Woman On Top
Men sometimes wish to express a more sensitive side to their sexual nature, and women sometimes wish to express a more dominant side. So within any sexual relationship that is truly satisfactory and pleasurable between two people, there should be ample opportunity for both man and woman to express all aspects of their inner selves.
In the woman on top position, it’s possible for a woman to express her feminine sensuality and eroticism to a rather greater degree than she can with the man on top where he takes the active role.
The very act of taking the dominant position – the dominant physical position as well as the dominant psychological role – gives her more freedom of movement and allows her to feel less burdened by the weight of her partner; indeed, this sex position allows her to move in such a way that she’s more likely to be able to reach orgasm.
Women on top sex positions also allow the woman to enjoy the pleasure of taking the man’s penis inside her at the time and in the way that suits her best. They also give her a choice of various pelvic movements that might enable her vulva and clitoris to receive more friction than they would in any other sexual position. And indeed, the man can learn how to control his own ascent to pleasure and fulfillment better than in many other sexual postures.
When a woman is squatting over the man she can get very deep penetration with total control of the depth of penetration. This allows her to tease and please her man.
This position is also extremely helpful when the man has a long penis which would otherwise make contact with her cervix during intercourse.
And for men, the woman on top position for coitus can be a very relaxing experience. Not having to lead the movements and progression of sex may come as a huge relief, not only when a man is tired or would like some respite from the role of leader, but also just simply because he can experience a more submissive sexual role and position.
He can also enjoy the sight of his partner’s body and the whole expression of who she is which may turn him on more.